Get What You Came For

Here’s what I’ve come to know about life, most of the things we worry about don’t happen. So don’t waste your time dwelling on the negative, best to enjoy the journey and spend quality time with people you love—those are the golden jewels in the treasure chest of life.

Take my Dad, for instance. He was a happy, joyful man. He had an insatiable love for life and his spirit shined brightly. When his mind began to betray him and his body grew weak, his light did not fade one bit—he was still shining. All my dad needed to be happy was people and adventures. Everything was fun to him—a phone call from a friend, a trip to the doctor so he could read one of his poems to the pretty nurse, or a bowl full of his favorite ice cream. As long as he was engaging with people, he was happy. He would talk to anyone that would listen. Most of the time it was endearing, sometimes it was a bit frustrating because we couldn’t even take a quick trip to the grocery store without him striking up a conversation with whomever happened to be standing in front of us in line. He enjoyed life and the people in it, always.

My Dad had plenty of reasons to not be happy, but he chose to be happy. His life was not easy— he served in World War II, dealt with cancer, dementia, and had many, many struggles, but nothing took his joy. I loved that about him. His faith was strong, his spirit was beautiful, and he was happy right up until the day he went to be with the Lord.

Happiness is a choice.

We mustn’t let anyone or anything steal our joy.

Here’s another example, there was a fun season in my life when I did something I had never done before—I started working out with a team. I had always exercised alone so this was a big deal for me. There were two women who inspired me during this venture—Schumacher was my workout partner (her name is Lori, I call her Schu), and Celise was our trainer. Schu and I showed up to Celise’s gym 3-4 times a week and worked hard. We were seeing results and having a blast! Celise pushed us to meet our goals, took the time to learn our habits, strengths, and struggles. Every once in a while, if Celise noticed us slowing down or not doing our best, she would yell, in the loving, bossy way that only she could, those five little words of motivation…

“Get what you came for!”

I would instantly square my shoulders, take a deep breath, and dig deeper. Schu did the same. They say showing up is the hardest part and I agree, but once you’re there, give it all you’ve got!

Try new things and get what you came for!

Another fun story: Not long ago, my husband asked me to mark an evening on my calendar – he had special dinner plans for us and was super excited about it. A local restaurant called “Beijing” was closing after 28 years of serving the best Chinese food in town to their loyal, adoring customers. This dinner would be the very last night they were open for business. There were five of us going: me, my husband, my mother-in-law, Darwin’s daughter, and her finance. We stood, huddled together outside in line at the doors to Beijing for over an hour. It was December and it was cold, but we toughed it out and waited—this was important to my husband so no matter how long it took, we were determined to wait it out and have one last dinner in this restaurant he loved so much. We waited and waited and waited. When we were finally seated, we waited some more and noticed all the tables around us getting their food, even people that were seated after us. Our reservations were for 6:00 p.m. and by 9:00 p.m. we saw the waiter with a big smile on his face finally heading towards our table. His arms expertly balancing plates full of steaming hot food prepared just for us. Before the food platters even touched the table we were scooping it onto our plates and digging in. The meal was delicious and well worth the wait, but there was much more to the evening than the food.

The five of us talked about things we’d never talked about before—silly stuff that set the tone for our evening together. I don’t remember what was said when Dorothy, my mother-in-law, got the giggles. Then I got the giggles too, and within minutes we were all laughing and having a grand time. It’s as if we all felt part of something special, so we settled in and really enjoyed our time together.

After devouring the fantastic meal and saying our goodbyes to the wonderful staff at Beijing, we hugged goodnight, and drove our separate ways. Darwin and I were smiling the entire drive home and I didn’t ask them, but I’m guessing Kayleigh, Lane, and Dorothy were smiling, too.

The next morning, I got a text from my mother-in-law…

“Thank you, again, for last night. I cannot remember when I’ve laughed that hard. I had so much fun!”

I felt the same.

Patience really is a virtue. If the circumstances were different we might have left, but I’m so glad we stayed. It was an evening I will never forget.

The most important time is right now.

The most important people are the ones in front of you.

Enjoy the journey!

And let me tell you about our time in Hawaii! I will always remember those three spectacular years we lived in Kona. It was absolute paradise. Not only did I discover my love for writing while living on the island, but I discovered my love for walking, too. I would eagerly walk 4-8 miles a day. Since I’m a creature of habit, I typically walked the same loop in the hills around the condominium where we stayed, but one day I decided to take a different route. I walked Ali’i Drive which is the main road along the ocean. It was an eight-mile walk, but I didn’t mind. For the first time in my entire life, I wasn’t watching the clock—I actually had time to do as I pleased.

Along the way I noticed dozens of paths off of the main road, so I decided to venture down a new one every day. Some paths were paved and had signs leading pedestrians safely as they walked. Some trails had lovely stone walkways that took you down the hill and around the houses, guiding you with arrows on little wooden signs as if you were on a treasure hunt. And some of the paths were camouflaged so unless you were looking, you probably wouldn’t notice them at all. Here’s where it gets exciting, all the paths led me to the same glorious destination—the ocean shore. It was incredible! Some days the rain poured down in buckets as I walked, other times it was hot and humid, but it didn’t matter what the weather was like or how warm it got, every single adventure I went on was exhilarating.

As I walked, the distant sound of cars faded to the crunch of the rocks under my feet as the lull of ocean waves kept me moving. My mind was clear. My heart was light and my spirit soared on those walks. I don’t remember ever feeling so alive as I did during those adventures on the Big Island. God and nature have a way of soothing and healing everything that hurts, and restoring all that is good inside of us.

Go on an adventure.

Take the road less traveled.

Listen, I know we hear it all the time: Be present, look on the bright side, live with intention, the glass is half full, stay positive, etc. Those statements are often used casually but I’m here to tell you there’s truth in them. I once lived my life by just surviving—rushing through my days, not paying attention to those around me, talking about things that didn’t matter, stressed out, and trying to get through each day as best I could. Joy didn’t last, and peace was just a fleeting feeling that escaped long before I could cling to it. I wasn’t living. I was merely surviving and it wasn’t good for me. It’s not good for anyone. Do you know what else isn’t good for us? Bitterness, jealousy, anger, resentment, fear— don’t hold on to those things because they will make you miserable.

Stay with me here…

Time does not stop, my friends. Even when we think it should or want it to, it doesn’t. Hours, days, months, and years all pass quickly.

In a mindfulness class my oldest son and I recently attended, our instructor said this…

“If you’re not living in the present moment, you aren’t living at all.”

Read that one more time…

“If you’re not living in the present moment, you are not living!”

Makes sense, right? I’ve noticed people rushing through one experience only to start planning the next one—I want to remind them about right here, right now. What about the joy in this very moment? You don’t want to miss this!

If we’re longing for the old days or dreaming of the future, then we’re missing out on what’s right in front of us.

So, when is the best time to start living? You guessed it. The best time is right now! Approach each event in your life like a wonderful adventure…

If you’re blessed enough to go on a vacation be sure to leave your worries at home and soak in every moment of your trip. If you’re traveling somewhere new, do the touristy stuff if you want, but I encourage you to find where the locals hangout—that’s usually where the fun is. Walk the land, meet new people, watch the sunsets, live it up! Make memories that will last forever.

Can’t afford a vacation? Try going to the neighborhood park with someone you care about. Lay beneath the trees and watch the clouds pass by. Talk about things that matter to you.

Love daffodils? Plant loads of bulbs and feel your heart soar with every bloom that rises from the ground come spring.

Want to be a chef? Learn new recipes, get in the kitchen, and start cooking!

Missing someone that you’ve been avoiding? Ask them out for coffee or take a walk together. Who cares if it’s been months and you feel guilty for never calling them back— just reach out. You will be glad you did.

Sick and tired of the chaos in the world? Go to the ocean, dip your toes in the sand, and listen to the waves crash. I promise it will bring you peace.

Take the trips, eat the food, write the book, sign-up for that class you’ve been thinking of taking, strike up a conversation with a stranger, and try something new—even if you’re scared or think you will fail—do it anyway.

I learned from my Dad, God rest his sweet loving soul, to live each day with gratitude, that we cannot allow anyone or anything to steal our joy, and happiness really is a choice.

And I’ve learned from my beautiful mother-in-law, too. She’s always smiling and laughing and enjoying every moment she has with the people she loves. Dorothy doesn’t realize she’s spreading joy to those around her but she certainly is. I find myself smiling just thinking about her.

Tomorrow is not promised, my friends. Live in the moment and be grateful for every single day God gives you, and whether it’s an old familiar trail, the road less traveled, or you blaze yourself a brand-new path, enjoy the journey!